Monday, February 27, 2012

Promise and Support

I am so amazed at the amount of support I have received for the Promise Walk this year! Our team has raised over $700 in donations already! I am so thankful to have such supportive friends, family, and even strangers. This walk means a lot to me and I often get tearful when I think about it. I am very excited to walk in the first Promise Walk in St. Louis and to be part of the planning of the walk with some very lovely girls. If you would like to join our team (Team Wyman) or donate, click here. Thank you to everyone who has offered support in any way through our journey. It means the world to me!

This picture is from the Kansas City Promise Walk registration website.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Promise Walk

I'm sure you all know by now the devastating effects preeclampsia has had on our family. In 2007, about 6 months into my pregnancy with Brennan, I started to have severe swelling. I was gaining water weight rapidly so my doctor sent me for some blood work. My platelets were low so my doctor thought I had HELLP syndrome, which can be developed alone or more commonly along with preeclampsia. I was admitted to the hospital and I was shocked to learn that I would be delivering my first baby boy in the next few days at 29 weeks. Luckily I was able to wait a few days and receive the steroid shots for his lungs. He was born on Monday June 18th, 2007 and weighed 2lb 12oz. He went between a ventilator and CPAP for about 5 days and finally extubated himself and did well on only oxygen. He spent 6 weeks in the NICU receiving feedings through a NG tube until he was big enough and strong enough to come home with us. It was a very trying time for our family. We made it through that journey and we are so fortunate that today he is happy and healthy at 4 1/2 years old.

In February 2010 I found out I was pregnant with twins. We were so excited to be welcoming two baby girls to our family. I was so nervous that I was going to develop preeclampsia again. I feared for my daughters' lives my whole pregnancy. I started having swelling at 17 weeks. I was eventually diagnosed with preeclampsia again. I went to the high risk doctor every week from 19 weeks on for monitoring. There was this horrible beast slowly taking the lives of my babies and all I could do was wait, until either I was too sick to carry them or they were at too much of a risk to stay in my body any longer. I was admitted at 23 1/2 weeks, having no idea how much longer I would be able to carry them. In the time I was in the hospital I developed more swelling, more protein in my urine and my hemoglobin and platelets were dropping rapidly. I received a blood transfusion to ensure they were getting enough blood supply through the placenta. I reveled in the sound of their hearts beating on the monitor every chance I got. I went for an ultrasound every day to make sure they were getting the blood supply they needed. I hoped with every ounce of my being for the best outcome possible. I spent 12 days in the hospital before they were born, fearful each moment that at any time they may have to be delivered entirely too early. At 25 weeks, it was determined that I was too sick to continue with the pregnancy and my sweet daughter Reese was not getting an adequate blood supply. It was a miracle that I was able to keep them in an extra 12 days so we held onto that hope. The hope that things may be rough, but that our daughters would be here with us forever. They were born at 25 weeks, Reese weighed 1lb 2oz and Scotlyn weighed 1lb 3oz. They did exceptionally well for how early they were and their size so we had more hope to hold on to. Scotlyn started having some issues that we didn't think were anything too serious at first. Then at 4 days old, we were called to come to the NICU immediately because she was getting very sick very fast. They started coding her and it was the most horrible sight to see your child in that position. It was obvious their efforts were not helping and she was entirely too sick to keep going. We quickly made the decision to let her go in peace. We spent the next next week holding onto hope that the same thing would not happen to her sister. We lost one daughter, which was devastating enough but to lose both of our daughters was unthinkable. Reese fought so hard for that entire week. She was also fighting an infection that the doctors did not know where was coming from. She battled as much as her little body could handle. At 11 days old, we were told they were having a hard time keeping her oxygen levels up as she was on the maximum ventilator support. I held her for 6 hours with Casey by our side. I snuggled her under the heat lamp and talked to her. Her vital signs improved and she raised her eyebrows at the sound of my voice. I held onto one last ounce of hope that maybe it wasn't her time and she would pull through. The doctor decided to perform a small procedure to try to find what could be causing the infection, which she tolerated fairly well at first. She began to deteriorate again and it was just time to say goodbye. We were in complete shock at what was happening. We left the hospital without either of our babies and it was the most unreal time of my life. I am so thankful for the time that I got to spend with my girls. Nothing can replace that and nothing can ever replace them. It has been a very traumatizing time in my life. I will forever be changed by their presence in my life no matter how short of a time it was. I miss those girls every moment of every day.

This walk is very important to me because preeclampsia has had a major impact on our lives. There is no definite cause, prevention or cure for preeclampsia. That sentence is downright scary! Not to know the cause of something so brutal, for there not to be a way to prevent something that takes the lives of mothers and babies each day and for there not be a cure if you happen to be the unfortunate one plagued by this condition. This walk will raise much needed funds for the research of preeclampsia and provide important information to mothers at risk or being affected by preeclampsia. If you want to walk with me or make a donation, visit the website below. It would mean more than you know!

Support me in the Promise Walk for Preeclampsia

You can register to walk with us or make a donation for our team here!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Quilt Square

A friend of mine who also lost her baby to preeclampsia told me about a quilt the preeclampsia foundation was putting together. They mail you a piece of fabric and you decorate it in memory of your baby/babies. I originally requested two squares and then of course decided that I wanted Reese and Scotlyn together on the same one. I am not creative or crafty at all and my friend said she used iron on's in the past. I found a custom made iron on that you can print onto and I made this picture in photoshop and voila-I actually am crafty and creative-sort of:) I am really happy with how it turned out and I can't believe how clear it printed onto the fabric.

Rosemary, the kind lady that does the quilting, requested a picture of you with your completed fabric so here am I am, proud momma representing her babies:)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

Today we went to The Children's Museum. We had fun:) They had a lot of things for the kids to play with and Brennan loves pretending and there was a whole lot of that.

There was a medical center with child size crutches and medical kits.

They had an x-ray light with different x-rays-this one is a little creepy, but it was cool for him to see.

They had a police station with police uniforms and a jail. They had sample fingerprinting and this height thing for a mugshot [I'm sure there is a name for it!] Here is Brennan's mugshot!

Here we are in jail...

This little apron had velcro organs, pretty cool!

They had a library area so Brennan was checking my books out. Then we went into the little nook and read a few books. The wall paintings were adorable-they had the cover of different books painted all over the wall. Very cute idea for a playroom that I am tempted to use...if only I could paint artsy things!

Brennan loved pretending to be a firefighter.

They had lots of little gadgets you could turn like on a firetruck. And the clothes were just his size!

Um, cutest little firefighter I've ever seen!

We also played supermarket and restaurant, sorted sea shells, learned about different parts of the world, looked in mirrors that made us look silly, played post office and banker. There was a lot of pretend play there:)

When we got home we baked heart shaped muffins to take to our friends' house. Brennan got to play with his friends while we socialized with ours. I brought my camera and I was so mad I didn't get a picture of the kids!

Then I came home to flowers from my hubby:)

Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day♥

♥ Happy Valentine's Day ♥

I don't really buy [pun intended] into Valentine's Day. I mean, when Casey and I were dating we made a big deal about Valentine's Day, but I guess now that we're married I feel like we have our anniversary as our day to celebrate us and I just feel like it's really overrated. Of course we make it fun for Brennan though:)

His school party was yesterday and he made Casey and I a card and picture frame-so sweet!!

Casey's mom watches Brennan every other Monday when I work nights on the weekend so she came to the party today too:) I didn't get a good picture, but they had a chocolate fountain again this year-yum!

Look at these awesome suckers one of his teachers made! It says "You are a super student!" So cute and creative!

He got lots of other fun goodies from his classmates-here he modeling a couple of things:)

My friend, Kate, had these little Valentine's sacks made for our kids a couple of years ago. They are sooooo adorable!! We put it up every year and this year I put Brennan's Valentine's present in there:)

This year we got Brennan a solar system book, since his recent unit at school was space. I also got him some flashcards about space and presidents (kind of random, but I want him to learn about all different kinds of things) and I have just started some very basic addition and subtraction with him and thought some flashcards might familiarize him a little more with numbers and putting them together-and who to make addition and subtraction more fun than spider man?! I didn't take a picture, but Brennan also got some spider man swim trunks. I decided not get him any candy this year. Don't worry, he has gotten plenty from school and family!

I also got this adorable little strawberry grow kit. Brennan wants a garden this year (and so do I!) so I thought this would be a fun start. I decided to go 'no candy' for the kids at school too so we got these little miniature pots with flowers for the girls and the boys got kites:)

After he opened his gift this morning, he gave me a big hug and said "Thank you SO much mommy!"

I decided to reminisce on last years Valentine's Day. Looking at that post made me so glad that I blog and makes me wish I blogged more! So I am going to make it my goal to blog more often, even if it isn't the most interesting thing (sorry in advance). There are so many little details that I forget, especially now that my mind is so consumed by everything I have been through over the last year and a half. I know that I would never regret having all of these little moments with Brennan documented.

Today we're going to a Children's Museum. I have been wanting to do for a while and today we have a free day so we're going! I'm sure I will post pictures later:)

Friday, February 10, 2012


Brennan is into swim lessons again. He has been going for a few weeks and is actually almost done with this session.

He LOVES it! I can't wait for summer, he is going to be a fish! He has been trying so hard to swim on his own forever and just didn't have the coordination down, but he swam last week for the first time on his own without a floatie:)

Casey has been taking him because I've been doing yoga and while I rarely miss anything of Brennan's, yoga is something I feel like I need to do and already am not able to go as much as I would like.

Well, the night that I took him is the night he swam for the first time without a floatie! I'm sure you can imagine how excited I was:)

He is ear to ear grins the whole time!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Space Between

I heard a story on the radio the other day about a little girl named Katelyn Jackson who had multiple surgeries on her heart as an infant/toddler. She is now 10 years old sharing her story and Erin Bode made a song telling the story of Katelyn's feelings on her journey and using Katelyn's heart beat. This song brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it. The story behind it and hearing her heart beating in the beginning, just extremely powerful. The song is so beautiful and the lyrics are so inspiring.

"And in the dark our eyes never know if they will see again, but when the stars come out I can feel the light creeping in, once again..."

At the end Katelyn and her siblings sing in the song too, it's just amazing. I had to share!

You can read more about Katelyn's story here

Monday, February 6, 2012

Planets and rockets and space, oh my!

I don't talk nearly enough on here about how amazing Brennan's preschool is. This is his second year and he has learned soooo much through this program. They do so much fun, educational stuff with them. They just finished a Space Unit. They talked about planets and did lots of fun crafts involving space.

Here he is modeling his alien mask...

and acting like an alien-however it is that they act:)

His teacher even had a Mad Science professor come out for a presentation.

They got to see a rocket blast off...

Going to get the rocket, they got to keep it for their classroom.

During the mad science presentation, all of the kids got to wear goggles, space boots (sponges), and use a claw like real astronauts to pick up rocks!

Here are Brennan's planets around the sun, hanging in his playroom.

Brennan was telling me about planets in the car one day-about the giant gas planets and jumping jupiter and he said "Mom, I know more about planets than you do." And honestly, he probably does!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Brennan loves animals, I'm sure I've mentioned that before. Well, he loves to read books with facts about animals and one of his favorites are about dolphins.

Every time we read this one dolphin book and get to this page he stops me and points to the two big dolphins to the left and says "Those are you and daddy, this one is me (the one behind them) and these two (to the right) are Reese and Scotlyn." I love that he still thinks of Reese and Scotlyn as part of our family even though they are not here on earth. He is constantly telling me things like "Mommy, I think Reese and Scotlyn are playing games together in heaven." Or "I wish Reese and Scotlyn were here for me to play with, I miss them."

He has recently started talking more about when they were in the hospital and when they were in "their little beds", even details about the beeping sounds of the NICU. He remembers visiting me and snuggling and watching shows. Sometimes I can't believe some of the detail he can recall after the time that has passed and how little he was. More than anything, I am so glad he remembers his sisters. They are a very special part of our family and I never want him to forget that.