Memories

Oh boy, we made some beautiful memories today:)

Brennan and my cousin, Alex, swimming-they had a blast!

This is my aunt Kathy, her little boy Jack, and my grandpa-so cute!

They are visiting from Arizona and we got to spend the day with them.

Brennan and Alex had such a good time swimming and playing.

They got some colored bubbles-fun...and messy! Good thing they are washable.

Little Jack toddled around and played with whatever he could get his hands on:)

He has such a sweet little face. 

My aunt and I were due just a few weeks apart when I was pregnant with Brennan and she with Alex and again when she was pregnant with Jack and I with Reese and Scotlyn. I love this little guy, but he sure is a poignant reminder of the little milestones our girls would be reaching and today was very difficult to say the least. I don't post a lot about my feelings on my blog, especially pertaining to people I know and care about in real life because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or get the wrong idea about how I feel about their children. I do feel I owe myself honesty through my grief and as I have said before, I want anyone who comes to my blog for comfort and a sense of understanding to receive just that. It's so important through a journey like this. Who doesn't want to be understood, especially in a time when sometimes your actions don't reflect who you truly are and how you truly feel. When, many times you don't recognize your actions as being ones that you ever dreamed would be a part of who you are, but it's the only way you know how to cope with the situation. You want everyone to understand that each day is emotionally exhausting, no matter how much you smile and everything appears to be okay. I do feel a twinge of guilt associating these pictures and portrayal of my sweet cousin with my grief, but I know in my heart that my aunt completely understands-in a way that she desperately strives for. She has been so supportive in many ways and has recognized many instances that must be difficult for me regarding Reese and Scotlyn and it brings tears to my eyes-at this moment-to feel so much love and understanding from someone I love in a world that I feel so alone in.

Here is being consoled by my mom after being squirted in the face with a water gun:( He had a sweet little friend to cheer him up:)

Brennan loved being squirted by daddy:)

Casey throwing Brennan in the pool

Two little fish...

I am so so proud of Brennan and his determination to swim. He is doing absolutely fantastic! I loved his swim teacher his last two sessions at the Y, he really made big strides after working with her. He is really loving the water and I don't think we are going to be far from a pool this summer:)

Casey showing off his skills;) 

Brennan tried a cannonball the last couple of days and he succeeded today!

He never gives up! He was also very determined to swim to touch the bottom and he accomplished that today too.

Daisy got in too, silly girl!

Alex was sliding off the edge all day and by the end of the day she was jumping in! Then once she started, she didn't want to stop:)

She started swimming with her face in the water too.

Here they are jumping in together-CUTE!

I think I uploaded almost every picture I took today because they are all so fantastic and really portray what a fun day we had:)

Caterpillar to Butterfly

For Easter, we got Brennan a butterfly pavilion. I was so excited to do this with him! I had a book and some fun little worksheets, I wanted it to be educational too. We waited until we got back from vacation to get the caterpillars. I kind of forgot that I ordered them before we left to be delivered after we got home. Well, they came on a Saturday that I worked. Casey got them from the mail and didn't see that the box needed to be opened immediately so I was worried they had sat there all day  in the box. I took the containers out and opened the lid because I wanted Brennan to see the caterpillars up close and then I started reading the booklet about them that said not to open the container or touch the caterpillars, which we had. I was mortified and thought I ruined them:( Then we needed to put them away from sunlight and there are not many places in our house without sunlight and a place to set them where Brennan could watch them. They were starting to crawl to the top to form their chrysalis. I had them on the bathroom counter for a while and Brennan knocked a container into the sink. I was worried again that he harmed them and they wouldn't develop. Then we had to transfer the paper into the pavilion once the  chrysalis had formed. Both papers with chrysalis attached fell into the pavilion after I attached it. I was feeling like a really bad butterfly mommy at this point. I was thinking there was no way they would survive. Once the chrysalis forms, the longest stage is waiting for them to develop into butterflies. So every day I'm just waiting for them to hopefully develop and reassure me that I did not ruin them. Then yesterday, I peeked in and saw 3 butterflies flying around. I was squealing with excitement! We now have 6 beautiful painted lady butterflies!:) 

Brennan has really loved watching these butterflies develop.

It is so amazing how fast they change. One day I saw a caterpillar in the morning that turned to a chrysalis by afternoon.

I cannot believe how delicate they are while also being so strong.

There are still 3 chrysalis that I am hoping will still develop. There were a couple of late ones so I hope those were the ones. *Update* I started this post yesterday and the rest of the chrysalis developed and out came more butterflies! We had a total of 9, but we got a couple out today outside and let them go:)

A visit

Today we took a little drive to visit my grandma and grandpa. They live in the country so we explored a lot of animals, bugs and nature. They live by "The Clubhouse" that I've talked about before that holds many many memories for our family. 

Brennan had a lot of fun helping my grandma plant flowers:)

Time for water. Yes, that is an old school water pump:)

Brennan loved playing with Jack!

And watching grandpa pick lettuce from the garden. 

We also went to town to have lunch at a mom and pop diner. It really was such a nice visit.

Last day of vacation!

I guess this is sort of on schedule since it's Monday, however I am fully aware that I am a week (or technically 2 weeks late!)

On Monday, we hung out with my Uncle Bob and Aunt Janet until it was time to make the drive back to the airport. They are two of the nicest people I have ever met. They would give anything for their family and they have! Thank you for letting us stay with you, we had so much fun!!

On the elevator at the airport.

Shooting a web!

                                                                      Me and my love

Flying his airplane again:)

Playing with his new cars while watching Cars 2:)