Monday, May 28, 2012


Oh boy, we made some beautiful memories today:)

Brennan and my cousin, Alex, swimming-they had a blast!

This is my aunt Kathy, her little boy Jack, and my grandpa-so cute!

They are visiting from Arizona and we got to spend the day with them.

Brennan and Alex had such a good time swimming and playing.

They got some colored bubbles-fun...and messy! Good thing they are washable.

Little Jack toddled around and played with whatever he could get his hands on:)

He has such a sweet little face. 

My aunt and I were due just a few weeks apart when I was pregnant with Brennan and she with Alex and again when she was pregnant with Jack and I with Reese and Scotlyn. I love this little guy, but he sure is a poignant reminder of the little milestones our girls would be reaching and today was very difficult to say the least. I don't post a lot about my feelings on my blog, especially pertaining to people I know and care about in real life because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or get the wrong idea about how I feel about their children. I do feel I owe myself honesty through my grief and as I have said before, I want anyone who comes to my blog for comfort and a sense of understanding to receive just that. It's so important through a journey like this. Who doesn't want to be understood, especially in a time when sometimes your actions don't reflect who you truly are and how you truly feel. When, many times you don't recognize your actions as being ones that you ever dreamed would be a part of who you are, but it's the only way you know how to cope with the situation. You want everyone to understand that each day is emotionally exhausting, no matter how much you smile and everything appears to be okay. I do feel a twinge of guilt associating these pictures and portrayal of my sweet cousin with my grief, but I know in my heart that my aunt completely understands-in a way that she desperately strives for. She has been so supportive in many ways and has recognized many instances that must be difficult for me regarding Reese and Scotlyn and it brings tears to my eyes-at this moment-to feel so much love and understanding from someone I love in a world that I feel so alone in.

Here is being consoled by my mom after being squirted in the face with a water gun:( He had a sweet little friend to cheer him up:)

Brennan loved being squirted by daddy:)

Casey throwing Brennan in the pool

Two little fish...

I am so so proud of Brennan and his determination to swim. He is doing absolutely fantastic! I loved his swim teacher his last two sessions at the Y, he really made big strides after working with her. He is really loving the water and I don't think we are going to be far from a pool this summer:)

Casey showing off his skills;) 

Brennan tried a cannonball the last couple of days and he succeeded today!

He never gives up! He was also very determined to swim to touch the bottom and he accomplished that today too.

Daisy got in too, silly girl!

Alex was sliding off the edge all day and by the end of the day she was jumping in! Then once she started, she didn't want to stop:)

She started swimming with her face in the water too.

Here they are jumping in together-CUTE!

I think I uploaded almost every picture I took today because they are all so fantastic and really portray what a fun day we had:)


  1. I appreciate your honesty, as I'm sure other people do. You describe it so well, the exhaustion of trying to act happy sometimes. . . The mixed emotions associated with seeing healthy babies that are the same as my babies should be. . . Thank you for your honesty. It helps me to feel less alone. Hugs.

  2. It is so bittersweet.

    I love all these pictures, especially the butterfly one.

    And do you have a pool? It looks way too nice and way too empty to be a public one.

  3. The pictures are really wonderful! Great job capturing the day! All you had to say was that she was pregnant the same time as you with the girls and I knew it would be REALLY HARD. How could it not be, you are so sweet to protect your family I ma really glad she is so supportive of you, that really makes a difference. I have not met Jonathan's cousin that was born a recently I know it will be hard. Praying for you my friend, PRAYING!

  4. I love your pictures! So much fun:-)))))

    I am so glad that your Aunt is supportive and understanding to you. I cant imagine how hard that is!

    Hugs Kim!!!