Sunday, January 13, 2013


I found this on our trip to Mississippi and as soon as I saw it, it touched my heart. My children have impacted my life in a way like no other. 

Brennan has changed my world in all amazing ways imaginable. He has taught me so much about give and take, sacrifices, keeping me on my toes and teaching me how to be a better parent, opening my heart in more ways than I've ever imagined. He has been there every step of the way through my trials after losing Reese and Scotlyn. Some days when I thought I couldn't take another breath because I was hurting so badly, he was there to push me to keep breathing. He still talks about his sisters all the time, and every single time it melts my heart. I love that he remembers his sisters and tells me how much he loves them and misses them and I know he does, but a part of me feels like he does it for me too because he knows how much they mean to me and how much I love them. He is so amazing. He continues to change my world each day.

Reese and Scotlyn, I don't even know where to begin in describing how much my life has changed since they entered and left my world. At the time that we were trying to conceive them, it seemed like forever (it always does when you're trying). When we got pregnant I was so scared that I couldn't even be happy. When I found I was pregnant with twins I couldn't believe we were being blessed with two babies. I was excited but still so fearful. Then after making it as far as we did in the pregnancy-after previously delivering at 29 weeks, a miscarriage, bleeding at 10 weeks, pre-e symptoms starting at 19 weeks, being admitted at 23 weeks, being able to keep them in for 12 days longer, them doing so well at birth, I couldn't imagine after all of that, that I wouldn't get to take them home. When I left that hospital without my babies-my world and my life was changed in more ways than I every imagined-forever. I have learned more about life from those two little girls than I have in my whole existence. They have taught me that life is short. It really is. They have taught me to give more and to give in more. deeper compassion. deeper love. more empathy. more understanding.     
Every feeling that exists amplified and intensified, some feelings I never knew existed. 


  1. Beautifully written. I wish there were some other way we could have learned these lessons. I'm so sorry you didn't get to keep your girls. Their legacy is such a beautiful one.