Saturday, February 23, 2013

Every Day Life

I had to run a few errands today so I made a quick trip to the mall. I had a coupon to Gymboree and ended up finding some stuff for Brennan. There were these ladies in there oohing and aahing over the girls stuff. Sigh. I got to the check out and I needed $7 to get gymbucks. Eh, why not. I grabbed Brennan a couple more pairs of underwear to get to my total for gymbucks. (In case you aren't familiar, gymbucks are "free" money you earn for spending so much that is to be spent during future allotted dates).

I remember the first time I ever got gymbucks was from shopping for clothes for Reese and Scotlyn before they were born. Then the time to redeem them was when I was in the hospital on bed rest. I was so excited to buy more clothes for my baby girls. I found these cute giraffe sleepers, there were double, but these were some of the more important sentiments for me so one of each piece is on their quilt. I don't think gymbucks will ever hold another memory for me. It seems meager, but it is sometimes the memories that seem small that symbolize the difficulties that each day can bring.

On the way home, I stopped by the cemetery. I miss my babies so much every day. I don't write a lot about them because my feelings and emotions seem redundant, but they are no less. Everything our family does, I still think about them being right here beside us. There are often times that I still can't believe it is forever. It's too long.


  1. (((Hugs))) I have a few of Nates favorite shirts, shoes, toys, and odd things that I just can't part with. It somehow makes me feel closer to him. I know he is watching over your sweet girls hanging out with them til you are with them again. Forever is how long we will one day be with them. I can't wait til that day comes but until then we can lean eachother and enjoy our beautiful babies that need us here. We will get through the sadness, the heartache, and the dark times.

  2. It's not redundant-I can't even begin to imagine how you feel.
    I know it's hard to repeat your feelings over and over. But know Im thinking about you and those beautiful girls!!