This is the first year Brennan has really gotten into Christmas. Christmas time is always the most fun with kids, but when they really get into the spirit of Christmas, it is truly magical. This time of year is tough after losing the girls, but truthfully every day is. I am trying to focus on Brennan and making this a really memorable Christmas for him.
The day we decorated for Christmas was the hardest part of the holidays so far. A huge range of emotions hit. Joy while watching Brennan display every sense of his sweet and funny personality while decorating-talking to the snow man, feeding the reindeer ornament "reindeer food", he really is a riot! Then just being heartbroken that it is really that time of year already and my girls not getting to be any part of it with us. It really is that constant lingering of sadness in every joyful moment.
When I hung Brennan's stocking, it seemed so lonely. I knew I wanted to get stockings for the Reese and Scotlyn. When they came I hung them right along side Brennan's and I had this instant relief. I just felt their spirit here with me and still do every time I look at them. I recently thought ahead to when Brennan is rummaging through his on Christmas Day and theirs will still be hanging up there, but I'm hoping it just continues to bring this positive feeling like they are here with us.
We also made our first gingerbread house this year. It turned out very cute, however I think Brennan did a little more eating than decorating:)
We have always managed to get a picture of Brennan with Santa, but definitely not without hesitation. This year he sat on Santa's lap and even told him what he wanted. It was really sweet watching him have this conversation with him.
He told him he wants a rocket ship. Then when we were leaving Santa gave him his bag of goodies and Brennan said to me "I want my rocket ship, too." Apparently he thought Santa would have all of the requested toys on hand:)