Thursday, February 10, 2011

These pictures were taken right after we found out we lost our baby at 6 weeks in March of 2009. I have spoken lightly of my miscarriage, but that was a very difficult time for me. I know I have said before never to underestimate a miscarriage no matter how many children, how far along, whether the person can get pregnant again, whether there was something wrong with the baby, it was meant to be, etc. None of those reasons are good enough to take away the pain of losing a baby at any time.

I just love the enormous smiles on Brennan's face in these pictures, but I can't help but think of what my feelings were at that exact moment...a lot of sadness. We were packing to move out of our house and Brennan was "helping". I look at these pictures of Brennan and how little he is and think of how long ago he should have had a little brother or sister and everything the last 2 years has brought our family.

Every day I think about the fact that Brennan should have a sibling here on earth. It is a huge part of my grieving. Every time he talks to his animals I think about how he would be talking to his brother or sisters. How much I want to see him loving on them, wondering what they would talk about or what he would teach them. He went with me to see my friends baby recently and he was touching his feet and smiling at him, looking at him so lovingly. He is the sweetest boy and I can't even imagine how much love he would give to a sibling.

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