Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Bears, Children, and Heaven

Brennan and I were in his bedroom at bedtime the other night and he told me that all of his bears are boys. Except Reese and Scotlyns' bears and bunnies, which are girls. He continues on saying how he wished Reese and Scotlyn were here to play with their bears and bunnies. I, of course, told him I wish more than anything in the whole world that they were here to play with them, too and to play with him. He sat up and said "Remember in the hospital when there was music and Scotlyn was like this" He was shaking his arms in the air. I said "She was dancing?" He said "no" and he laid down with his arms laying over his head (the way she was laying in her isolette) with his lips sort of puckered (I'm assuming mimicking the ET tube) and said mm mm mm mm and I don't know what else he could be talking about other than when Reese was on the oscillator. Sigh. He does bring up when I was in the hospital occasionally, however he has never been so detailed.

Then yesterday, Brennan was reading a BOB book to me and it was about a mom and dad who have ten kids. He was reading along and he stopped and paused, then said "You have one kid." I told him that no I actually have 3 children, that Reese and Scotlyn are my children too even though they are not here on earth. So he kept saying "So you had 3 children, but now you only have one child." Then he repeated it again, "You have one child here and two children in heaven." Yes, that's true...unfortunately.

I took Reese and Scotlyn's butterflies from Christmas to their grave on Easter.


  1. SO very sweet, Oh I I wish your precious son did not know such a great loss so young. The girls special spot is so pretty I love the purple butterfly's. Praying for you dear friend.

  2. I love the butterflies!

    I am sure it is so bittersweet, talking to him about the girls. I am not looking forward to or even know where to begin talking to Luke about it.

  3. I am visiting from Tesha's link up...I am sorry your son has to come to understanding of his siblings.My miscarriage of twins my children where young and didn't really understand,and when my son was nearly two I had another loss.It effects them,sadly.(((hugs)))

  4. I wish your girls were here with you too. . . I wish there was something more I could say other than I'm sorry, but sometimes my words feel empty. I think about your sweet girls often. I think of the rest of your family too and pray for you.

  5. Oh Kim I wished we lived close so Jack and Brennan could hang out together. It is heart crushing hearing the sweet things Brennan says, I just want to give him and you a hug. Our little guys had to grow up fast in this regard, but I know it has made them tender hearted. They will look out more for those around them because they have learned how precious life is at such a young age. All my love to you.