We went to Breautigam's Orchard this weekend. Brennan's preschool teacher is the owner of the farm so it was a lot of fun to go back there and see her:) They were having their Pumpkinfest and I took some pictures of my friends there and then Casey, Brennan and I went back to do some pumpkin picking. I will post pictures later-maybe tomorrow. I have been gone the last 3 days so I have gotten behind and have basically hopped on here to get my Grief Challenge posts up.
Since we haven't been home the last few days, we hadn't put our pumpkins out on the porch yet. So we finally got to do that tonight. Brennan was so sweet, he took one of the small orange and black spotted ones and placed it by one of the trees we have planted in our yard for Reese and Scotlyn. He said "I want to put this here for Reese and Scotlyn." Then he asked if we could go to their grave. Of course! Getting two white pumpkins just for them is something I really enjoy doing for them every year. They generally stay at our house, but I decided to take them to their grave. We will get two more to keep at the house too.
Brennan gave their headstone a hug when got there. He seriously melts my heart.
On the way there he started questioning about taking the pumpkins there. He decided he wanted to keep them at home so we could see them all the time. I told him that we would get two more white ones for them, but I thought it would be special to take them to their grave. Then he asked "Is white their favorite color?" I wish I knew.
The fall flowers are flowers that one of my best friends took out there last month:)
He wanted to take a picture of me. Behind me are the rest of the baby graves. My heart aches for each one of those parents. Even though some of them are dated back at least 30 years, I know their heart is still broken for the baby they lost.
This is the stone that lies next to the infant section.
We stopped by Eckert's on the way home and got some pumpkin pie ice cream-yum! Here is Brennan sitting by the fireplace drinking hot chocolate with a bowl of pumpkin pie ice cream nearby, doesn't get much better than that:)
Then we ended our evening together reading a couple of chapters from Charlotte's Web.
I love this boy soooo much! I missed him the last few days I have been gone and I'm so glad we finally had this evening together. Tonight, he gave me a hug and told me that he wants to keep me forever! I wish more than anything I can keep him forever, but I am constantly overshadowed with the thought that nothing is promised. I wish it were simpler than that and sometimes I wish I were naive. Other times I am glad I'm not, but I just get so overwhelmed when I think about something happening to him because I know all to well that it can.
I know exactly how you feel. I find myself checking Matt and now Abby for anything that doesn't look right, taking notes of bumps n bruises. After seeing and knowing what we do it's hard to do anything but be vigilant and more aware. It's a scarry world. I wish we had the luxury of being naive. That just means our poor kiddos are going to be extremely loved and cherished.
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