Bounce House Fun!

Today we went to a Children's Expo in town. It wasn't really as fantastic as the ad sounded, but I suppose for $5 for all of us, it wasn't so bad.

It took Bren a little time to warm up to the big bounce houses-mostly because of the bigger kids, but once he did he had a lot of fun!

Fred Bird was there being his crazy self and Brennan loved him:)

Then we took him to lunch at Mickey D's-can't go wrong with apple dippers and chocolate milk-oh and a monster truck in your Happy Meal:)

Muffins

Today my little muffin decided that he wanted to make muffins:) First he said he wanted to make strawberry muffins, but we didn't have strawberry mix so I told him the only thing we had is blueberry-he was just fine with that;)

I told him he could get the muffin cups out and he chose these Halloween ones. At first I shunned them telling him they were for Halloween, but he really wanted to use them and I thought well really, what's the difference?? So of course he had to tell the ghost on them "We are going to use your muffin cups, okay ghost?"

I let him do everything-not that there is much to package mix! Obviously I'm not much of a baker:)

As we were making them, he said "This is going to be deeelicious!" I had to emphasize the e's so you get the full effect of how he says it:)

My Wish

I wish that Reese and Scotlyn were here with us on their 6 month birthday.

I wish I was posting updates on their height and weight at this age and developmental milestones they have reached at this point. I wish I was posting pictures of the happy smiling faces of my two baby girls. I wish they were here being entertained by their big brother. I wish that when people are talking about babies I didn't want to walk away, that I could join in about my babies. I wish they were here for us to love on and snuggle with.

In these 6 months my girls have taught me more about life than I've ever learned before. They have made me realize what is important in life and to never take anything for granted. They have taught me how fragile life is, how anything can happen at any moment. Not a moment in my day goes by without thinking of them-I miss them more than words.

"Our lives can change with every breath we take." -Where The Heart Is

the end

A couple of months ago I had a urinalysis done to check for protein (because I still have some residual swelling) and it was positive. They were going to recheck in a month, but when I saw my hematologist she wanted a 24 hour urine protein, which is more accurate. Well that was high too so she wanted me to see a nephrologist. So I had my appointment last week. The doctor was very nice, but he did not review my chart before I came so he had no idea about my pregnancy with Reese and Scotlyn. Well, along with the story come the tears. I sobbed through the entire appointment. It was so frustrating because I really wanted to talk to him about everything and I was trying to concentrate on what he was saying, but I was so upset and then of course he felt bad for not knowing my chart so he was apologizing-seriously it was a mess. Then every time he would say the word "proteinuria" I would think of my perinatologist saying the very same word over and over and over-"proteinuria". flashback.anxiety.sadness.tears.

So the final diagnosis is very mild kidney damage. Barring any other insults to my kidneys, I should be fine and the residual swelling is just that, residual. So hopefully that was the end of the end of this whole situation, medically anyway.

Do dreams come true?

Well, while we're on the subject of dreams I thought I might share mine. You know how some dreams you don't even remember, some dreams you think of when you wake up and don't think of ever again and some dreams affect you so much that you think about them the whole next day or even the rest of your life? Well, I had one of those monumental dreams last night that I will never forget.

I had a dream that we had a surrogate and she had twins for us. I remember having all of these different feelings about Reese and Scotlyn mixed with happiness for my new born babies. It's kind of hard to describe them because they are feelings and it was a dream, but my whole thought process really revolved around that dream today. It's such a strange feeling when a dream can affect your mind and your thinking so intensely.

I'm sure it's no surprise that I hope this dream comes true:)

Big Boy Dreams

Brennan moved into a big boy bed on Sunday. I have been having so many mixed emotions about Brennan fast approaching four years old. All in the same breath I am excited, sad, and joyful about Brennan getting bigger, smarter, and just plain older. I know it's normal, but I do feel like it's intensified by not having my baby girls. Just the fact that time is still moving and moving and moving and they are still not here through all of these changes that seem so minute to everyone else. That my only baby here with me is so not a baby anymore. Time is only making that more clear. So moving to a big boy bed was of course one of those big exciting...sad...yet joyful moments for this mommy.

His room is decorated in Cardinals.

Maw Maw is very crafty and made his baseball table and chairs:) She also made the baseball bat curtain rods, curtains, toy box and painted the wall!

He has baseball knobs on his dresser.

I'd say he is pretty happy about his new bed:)

Action Packed Bath

The action never stops...especially not at bath time! :) I bought these Woody and Buzz pool toys on clearance last year, just thinking you can never have too many Buzz and Woody dolls. Well, they have come to good use in the tub!

I accidentally turned the light off trying to turn the other light on. Well, then Brennan wanted the light off, he thought it would be fun...and it was! He was so excited I had to get some shots, but I needed a little light so then it was so funny that we had the flashlight on in there. I'll tell ya, this little ray of sunshine can make anything fun:)

Then Brennan decided he wanted to watch Toy Story while taking a bath...of course I let him. What can I say-you're only a kid once! Of course Casey thinks I'm crazy, but I want him to have a wonderful childhood full of fun memories:)

As you can imagine-bath time turned into an all night event!

Then of course dinosaur had to get in on the action too:)

A million and one times over, I don't know what I would do without this guy!

To Infinity...and Beyond!

So Brennan had been asking for a rocket ship for Christmas. That was really the only thing he asked for. He didn't really specify what kind so I ended up getting him a rocket ship that little Woody and Buzz could ride inside of that he could fly around. He liked it, but I don't know if that's really what he was thinking. Well, I was at Target the other day and I found this...

I just had to get it, even though he has gotten so much stuff over that last month-this is the last thing he needs. But now he can "fly" in his own rocket ship:) Yesterday he was "flying" around saying he is "Brennan Lightyear" :)

He loves to play and pretend he is flying like Buzz so I think this was a necessary purchase to assist the imagination:)

Family Tree

The title of this post is probably a little premature, but I really want to start getting information (and hopefully photos) of our late ancestors. I'd like to get a family tree, as far back as possible. I don't know what sparked this, but I really want to see where we came from! I just imagine my great grandparents and started thinking about their parents and their parents, they're all my family and I want to know who they are. Before Brennan was born I visited some family in the Keys and they had a whole wall of old photographs of family-I loved it! I would love to have a wall of old photographs of our family in our house and this is my start.

This week we went to Peoria to see Casey's family. His grandmother's grandmother was full blooded Indian.

She has a lot of Indian decor in her home

Real Dutch shoes

She actually didn't know her grandmother because her dad left when she was young, but it's still her heritage-and Casey's too:)

sweet dreams:)

I'm not going to say I didn't enjoy a beautiful sunset before my experience with Reese and Scotlyn, but I definitely enjoy them so much more now.

I feel like it's their way of telling me to stop and enjoy the beauty of life and nature and everything that this world has to offer.

I know that that life is too short not to revel in moments like this and the beautiful moments that remind me of them.

Whatever the reason, I cherish moments like this when I am reminded that they are always here with me in spirit.

Big Brother

Brennan absolutely knows who his sisters are. I show him their pictures, he goes to see them "where the flowers are" and we talk about them all the time. I always want him to know how special his sisters are and that he is the best big brother anyone could ask for.

These are the two little zebras that Brennan brought to the hospital for Reese and Scotlyn. It was so sweet because he was so excited to give them to his sisters:)

We put one zebra in the casket with Reese and Scoltyn and the other one Brennan sleeps with along with two other bears that my dad got for them. He loves his sisters' pink bears:)

The other day Brennan asked "Was I in heaven with Reese and Scotlyn when I was a baby?" Sometimes there are just no words.

I worked all weekend and Brennan stayed with maw maw and paw paw Saturday night so I didn't see him at all this weekend. I surprised him with a Frosty-yum:) He was so excited when I got home. The first thing he said after I gave him the frosty was "Mommy, can I please have a spoon to eat my frosty?" and the next was "Mommy, thank you for my frosty." He is so sweet and polite like that all the time. I just love it. I'm so proud of him and what an amazing little boy he is. He is a true joy to spend my days with.

Look at the ice cream dripping down his shirt...

He ate his frosty while he finished watching Toy Story 2. I just love these faces while he is watching the show-he always acts out his movies. Either with character toys or himself pretending to be the characters. As soon as he finished his frosty he was flying around his playroom like Buzz:)

Then we snuggled on the couch with Bear and Raffey and read some books before bed.

Brennan loves books! These are a couple of favorites.

Brennan has many many 'friends' (stuffed animals). Bear and Raffey are the most constant. He has slept with them for as long as I can remember. He loves them dearly:)

Raffey

Bear

June hung out with us for a bit too:)